Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Fear
I created and posted this blog based on my concerns that there are employers out there who put their business over peoples lives. I also hope that, if there are women who are in the same situation, they won't have to go through the same thing my girlfriend endured. That said, as much as I would like to make Sears accountable, she has requested that I do not take steps to have this blog circulated in any major way. I hope anyone who comes across this page uses it for personal inspiration. Please don't circulate it. I will do so when she feels the time is right. Thank you for your understanding and feel free to leave comments.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Why I Feel Sears Canada Supports Violence Against Women
In this day and age it's easy to think that major corporations who are in the public eye would take great pains to ensure their employees are being treated fairly and are supported in difficult situations. At the very least they should not hesitate to offer counseling. This unfortunately did not happen a few years ago with a former employee of Sears Canada. This story involves violence, fear and the actions of a company whose management is so driven by personal gain that it nearly destroyed a person. Because of possible repercussions I cannot at this time disclose names or locations. The woman involved, even though free from her attacker, is still not free from the fear. The bottom line is that as a result of their actions, I feel Sears Canada as a company supports violence against women. Here is the story.
The employee in question was an 18-year veteran of what was once a great company. Sears, over the years became a victim of being over managed by a system that viewed profitability as more important than the lives of their front line employees. Indeed, the best way to show managerial courage is to terminate a weak associate for any reason. Store managers who at best are horrible people are put in place and left there for years even though human rights complaints have been issued to head office. I for one reported a racist comment made by a manager and was witnessed by several people. Due to this managers relationships with officers of the corporation no action was taken. But to continue, this associate was at this time attempting to break away from an abusive relationship. The man, who ironically enough is an executive with another retail giant, continuously physically and verbally abused this woman for 8 years. This was horrible, painful abuse which involved punching, kicking, slapping and at one point ran over her foot with a car and left her in a parking lot. Indeed the last time they were together he sat on her and strangled her to unconsciousness. This is when she made the courageous decision to end the relationship. Understand that during this time, out of loyalty to Sears she continued to work, hiding the bruises and black eyes with makeup. Indeed she hid it from her family as well. In the end out of fear for her and her sons’ life she knew she had to get away.
To understand the next part of the story you must understand the cycle of abuse. Women who are subjected to this are made to feel they deserve to be abused and belittled. They are told they are ugly, worthless and no one else would want them. This is literally beaten into them to the point where they believe it. They endure it for years. But when the decision is made to leave it's not as easy as just walking away. The victim struggles with how they feel about themselves. They are drawn back to the abuser. They pull away but they suffer from severe anxiety and depression. It affects them for the rest of their lives. People around the victims, family and friends, must show a great deal of patience, understanding and of course support. You would hope to receive the same support from your place of employment.
The person in this story received quite the opposite from Sears. One day while driving home from a seminar she had a severe panic attack. She was sick all over herself. She barely made it home. She went to her doctor who knew of the abuse and told her to take some time off work. He ordered this and gave her a note. He also prescribed anxiety and nerve medication. After four weeks she returned. Understand though the environment she returned to was not ideal. Her manager, the one mentioned above, was anything but supportive. This manager never rewards success. She concentrates on minor deficiencies and turns them into huge concerns. The victim had to deal with this as well. Every previous manager had considered her exemplary. Now this manager was making her feel, not unlike her abuser, that she was a failure at her job as well. She would cry all the way home wondering why she was being treated this way. After taking the time off, things only became worse.
A few months passed and the associate took a much-needed vacation. Upon her return the combination of the result of years of abuse and the thought of returning to this work environment was too much for her. After another panic attack the doctor ordered her to take a further week off. On her first day back she felt that her regional manager should be made aware of the reason for her absences. She disclosed to him her past abuse and how it was affecting her. He was sympathetic and said he would talk to the store manager. Not long after this she was called to this managers office. This is where, too most right-thinking people, the story becomes truly unbelievable. The associate was presented with a letter from the regional basically stating that the victim understands that if she took any further time off off work for the reason of anxiety or depression she would be terminated with a package. The associate became inconsolable. This manager with the approval of the region basically said that even though she was breaking away from an abusive relationship, which had nearly resulted in her death, she could lose her job. No support, no offer of counseling. She was told that the “needs of the business” dictated that she be there and no reason would be considered as acceptable for taking time off. With or without medical documentation. Even abuse. The callousness of this was beyond reason. She signed the document under duress and continued to come into work no matter how sick she was. She is after all a single mother.
In the end the associate took the package and left the company. The pressure from this manager continued unabated. She could not carry on. Sears Canada had won. This manager continues to work in the same location. You simply can’t be an abuse survivor and work for Sears. In their eyes it is unacceptable. This is why I make the statement that Sears supports abuse against women. You either support the victim or turn a blind eye. In this case they added to the abuse by introducing a form of their own. This is quite simply wrong and in a perfect world they would be held accountable.
There is a happier ending to this story. These events took place 3 to 4 years ago. Today the victim is working for another company and is considered the best in her field. She is respected and supported. She is flourishing. Although not completely free from the mental pain of the past she has been free from the horror of her attacker for six years. She is quite simply, happy. She is proof that there can be survivors. That said, she is aware that every day there are women who are subjected to what she endured. Afraid to come forward, feeling no hope. She prays for all of them. Employers must help these victims. There should be no question of this. Why Sears can act in this manner defies explanation. It quite simply cannot happen again. Women must be able to come forward without fear of the consequences.
Why am I writing about this? What is my connection? The victim is my girlfriend of five years. She was and is my best friend. I told her I loved her in her darkest hour and I pulled her away from the horrors of abuse. I showed her that a relationship could be about mutual love and understanding. Not about pain and control. She said I saved her life. I’m not a savior. I’m just a man who loves for the right reasons. I’m glad I was there when she needed me. She is the strong one. She survived. God help all those who need to be saved.
The employee in question was an 18-year veteran of what was once a great company. Sears, over the years became a victim of being over managed by a system that viewed profitability as more important than the lives of their front line employees. Indeed, the best way to show managerial courage is to terminate a weak associate for any reason. Store managers who at best are horrible people are put in place and left there for years even though human rights complaints have been issued to head office. I for one reported a racist comment made by a manager and was witnessed by several people. Due to this managers relationships with officers of the corporation no action was taken. But to continue, this associate was at this time attempting to break away from an abusive relationship. The man, who ironically enough is an executive with another retail giant, continuously physically and verbally abused this woman for 8 years. This was horrible, painful abuse which involved punching, kicking, slapping and at one point ran over her foot with a car and left her in a parking lot. Indeed the last time they were together he sat on her and strangled her to unconsciousness. This is when she made the courageous decision to end the relationship. Understand that during this time, out of loyalty to Sears she continued to work, hiding the bruises and black eyes with makeup. Indeed she hid it from her family as well. In the end out of fear for her and her sons’ life she knew she had to get away.
To understand the next part of the story you must understand the cycle of abuse. Women who are subjected to this are made to feel they deserve to be abused and belittled. They are told they are ugly, worthless and no one else would want them. This is literally beaten into them to the point where they believe it. They endure it for years. But when the decision is made to leave it's not as easy as just walking away. The victim struggles with how they feel about themselves. They are drawn back to the abuser. They pull away but they suffer from severe anxiety and depression. It affects them for the rest of their lives. People around the victims, family and friends, must show a great deal of patience, understanding and of course support. You would hope to receive the same support from your place of employment.
The person in this story received quite the opposite from Sears. One day while driving home from a seminar she had a severe panic attack. She was sick all over herself. She barely made it home. She went to her doctor who knew of the abuse and told her to take some time off work. He ordered this and gave her a note. He also prescribed anxiety and nerve medication. After four weeks she returned. Understand though the environment she returned to was not ideal. Her manager, the one mentioned above, was anything but supportive. This manager never rewards success. She concentrates on minor deficiencies and turns them into huge concerns. The victim had to deal with this as well. Every previous manager had considered her exemplary. Now this manager was making her feel, not unlike her abuser, that she was a failure at her job as well. She would cry all the way home wondering why she was being treated this way. After taking the time off, things only became worse.
A few months passed and the associate took a much-needed vacation. Upon her return the combination of the result of years of abuse and the thought of returning to this work environment was too much for her. After another panic attack the doctor ordered her to take a further week off. On her first day back she felt that her regional manager should be made aware of the reason for her absences. She disclosed to him her past abuse and how it was affecting her. He was sympathetic and said he would talk to the store manager. Not long after this she was called to this managers office. This is where, too most right-thinking people, the story becomes truly unbelievable. The associate was presented with a letter from the regional basically stating that the victim understands that if she took any further time off off work for the reason of anxiety or depression she would be terminated with a package. The associate became inconsolable. This manager with the approval of the region basically said that even though she was breaking away from an abusive relationship, which had nearly resulted in her death, she could lose her job. No support, no offer of counseling. She was told that the “needs of the business” dictated that she be there and no reason would be considered as acceptable for taking time off. With or without medical documentation. Even abuse. The callousness of this was beyond reason. She signed the document under duress and continued to come into work no matter how sick she was. She is after all a single mother.
In the end the associate took the package and left the company. The pressure from this manager continued unabated. She could not carry on. Sears Canada had won. This manager continues to work in the same location. You simply can’t be an abuse survivor and work for Sears. In their eyes it is unacceptable. This is why I make the statement that Sears supports abuse against women. You either support the victim or turn a blind eye. In this case they added to the abuse by introducing a form of their own. This is quite simply wrong and in a perfect world they would be held accountable.
There is a happier ending to this story. These events took place 3 to 4 years ago. Today the victim is working for another company and is considered the best in her field. She is respected and supported. She is flourishing. Although not completely free from the mental pain of the past she has been free from the horror of her attacker for six years. She is quite simply, happy. She is proof that there can be survivors. That said, she is aware that every day there are women who are subjected to what she endured. Afraid to come forward, feeling no hope. She prays for all of them. Employers must help these victims. There should be no question of this. Why Sears can act in this manner defies explanation. It quite simply cannot happen again. Women must be able to come forward without fear of the consequences.
Why am I writing about this? What is my connection? The victim is my girlfriend of five years. She was and is my best friend. I told her I loved her in her darkest hour and I pulled her away from the horrors of abuse. I showed her that a relationship could be about mutual love and understanding. Not about pain and control. She said I saved her life. I’m not a savior. I’m just a man who loves for the right reasons. I’m glad I was there when she needed me. She is the strong one. She survived. God help all those who need to be saved.
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